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Single At Christmas

12/17/2013

 
PictureMy dog doesn't look any happier than some singles do at Christmas.
This past week, I got the chance to speak with Carla Thomas, hostess of madstyleandgrace.com, about the struggles singles face during the Christmas season.  I've been surprised by the blog posts I've read on the subject, and humbled that I would be able to speak to my single brothers and sisters about the difficult emotional valleys that this season of celebration so often produces. 
Here are some of the things Carla and I discussed. I believe that the pain of the season can be addressed by looking at, and attacking the four "p's":  People, Prayer, Praise and Presents.

People.  Don't try to go it alone this season.  Actively seek fellowship opportunities, and spend time with family and friends, particularly those who understand your struggle and will encourage you. Feeling down?  Get a kid fix.  Borrow one of your nieces or nephews or godkids and see the season from a pint sized point of view.  It's very difficult to be sad when you're around a kid at Christmas. Enjoy the wonder and the excitement that only children have.

But if people sap your energy, then avoid them. Take your Bible and a journal and spend the day--yes, I am saying this to singles--alone.  Find a retreat center and concentrate on listening to God for a change, not jingle bells. 

Prayer. Let God open a window to the world through your prayer life.  Pray over our cities, our country, your family or the persecuted church.  

Praise.  Christmas is about celebrating the joy of Christ's birth, but not everyone celebrates in the same way.  If you are part of a liturgical tradition, why not visit a charismatic church?  On the other hand, if you're used to a more lively worship experience, check out a midnight mass or a Christmas cantata.  Either way, you can see how the other half gets its praise on!

Presents.  As the song says, you can't "beat God giving."  Don't try.  But you can give to God's Kingdom and to His people.  If you can earn overtime pay during the holidays (perhaps by taking a married person's shift), use the extra cash for your church's capital campaign, adopting a foster child for Christmas or helping a foreign mission.  
    If you don't have the cash, try to make the time:  take a senior to lunch or volunteer to drive to the grocery store.  
    Christmas celebrates the most amazing miracle of our faith:  that the infinite Divine would want to connect with us.  Why not use this time to connect with people, in prayer, or by giving praise or a present?  I cannot promise that the pain that you may have will go away, but I can tell you that you will be glad you didn't miss the party.  I know I won't. Hope to see you there, or if not, I'll catch you around the throne.

Need more resources?   Check these out:
    Carla Thomas. 
        Twitter: @flycarla
        www.madstyleandgrace.com

    Single Roots.com  Great blog posts for Christians about singleness. 
    
    The Singles Network Ministries
       Energizer Bunny and singles' conference speaker Kris Swiatocho knows  about and has information about singles ministries here and in Europe. She is also the author of Jesus, Single Like Me.

    In the Baltimore-DC area?  These churches have vibrant singles ministries:
    Celebration Church WOW (Walking In Our Wholeness) Ministry
    First Baptist Church of Glenarden Singles Ministry
    St. John Singles For Christ
    Mount Moriah Baptist Church L.I.V.E. ("Living in Victory Everyday") Singles Ministry.
    M.O.V.E. ("Motivated Optimistic Victorious (men and women) Eager") Singles Life Changing Ministries

juliadr@verizon.net
12/16/2013 08:52:29 pm

Thanks. I'm in a relationship for the first time in eons n loving the sharing. But I've spent many seasons living the pangs of envy, hurt, etc. I know the pain n the JOY that comes fr being with others. Thanks for ur advice. I had peace once I decided to focus on thet positives...loving family n friends, spirit filled church, music n movies n relatively good health. I pray all find the joy as well. Have a blessed holiday.


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